Thanksgiving is over. While some of us have jumped the gun and started decorating for Christmas, Black Friday acts as the starting gun for the full-fledged marathon. We now have permission to hum “All I Want for Christmas” and other spiritual carols, erect plastic snowmen in our yards, and go shopping!
In general, I do not like to shop, especially for myself. I consider it a chore, not a recreational activity. But with our family’s birthday season in full swing and Christmas only a month away, I’ve been going outside my comfort zone—actually visiting stores and looking through catalogs. I have to admit, shopping for others can be pretty rewarding.
As I sorted through hand-shaped fly swatters, “peace sign” cake molds, and space alien alarm clocks, it seemed that most of the stuff for sale is pretty useless. However, a few things made me laugh. I figure that if I found them entertaining, you might too.
Note: I do not want any of these items. I do not intend to buy them for anyone else, either. I just thought they were fun and creative.
So first, just what everyone needs… a Flying Granny Slingshot. Not only does she fly, she screams “Woo Wee” as she soars (don’t forget the batteries). At only $14.99 (you’ve got to be kidding!), you can buy one, shoot her across the room, and then run over, pick her up, and do it again for minutes of fun.
Perhaps as a result of being flung across the room too many times, Granny is now unable to walk. But this doesn’t stop her from having fun, no sirree! We may have played with slot cars in our youth but now that we’re older, we can race granny in her hot wheelchair! According to the catalog, granny comes complete with an “8-piece snap-together track to create a 25″ wide oval, 2 grannies, 2 controllers and complete instructions.” (Just add batteries.) All this for only $26.99!
Are you tired of having your lunch disappear from the office fridge? These roach bags will keep your co-workers out of your PB&J. Only problem now? It might keep you away from your lunch! Check out the description: “Each baggie is printed with a giant creepy-crawly to put some scare into your next lunch hour. Twenty-four zip-to-lock bags.” I can just see me showing up at the Master Gardener help desk with my lunch in one of these.
And last but definitely not least: a strap-on Beer Belly (it’s even on sale)! I’ll let the catalog explain:
You can use the Beer Belly to hold either cold or hot beverages. When worn under your clothes you just look like a dude sporting a nice beer gut. The bladder has a wide mouth opening allowing for the addition of ice (Margarita Time) and for easy cleaning.
The Beer Belly comes with the sling and the bladder. The sling is designed to fit users up to 6’8″ and up to a 40″ waist. Made of neoprene, the sling insulates you and will feel like real flesh under your clothes. The bladder holds up to 80 oz. of the beverage of your choice and fits in a custom shaped pouch inside the sling.
All that, plus it gives you an idea of what you will eventually look like, if you keep drinking that much beer!
With gifts like these on the market, Christmas shopping should be easy this year. Have you found any gifts that you just have to share?