Lessons Learned

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A Little Advice for Couples: Secrets

Central to every couple is the issue of communication… and central to the ability to connect is the issue of disclosure. I’ve learned a lot about God’s view of secrets this summer. He hates them.

The Bible is full of examples of God having secrets, ranging from the mystery of his plan for mankind to the timing of the Second Coming. There are even cases of God telling people to keep secrets. Those aren’t the kind of secrets I’m talking about here.

The secrets that God hates are those we think we are keeping from Him—or sins we are hiding from one another. God assures us that nothing can be hidden from His sight. Jeremiah 23:24 reads, “’Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?’ declares the Lord. ‘Do not I fill heaven and earth?’ declares the Lord.” If we think we’re keeping secrets from God, we are only fooling ourselves.

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A Little Advice for Couples: Submission

The theme for this summer has been “relationships.” Several dear friends are joyfully falling in love, while another close couple is at risk of falling out of it. Those who are unmarried are contemplating marriage. The two who are married are in danger of separation.

Maybe it’s the gray hairs, maybe it’s our 31 years of marriage (and we still like one another!), but Pete and I are being asked for wise counsel in all these relationships. I count this a huge responsibility, and I’ve spent a lot of time begging God to direct my words. (I’m especially asking for godly wisdom, the courage to pass on what He tells me, and a lot of love for everyone involved.)

In the middle of all this relating, I’ve come to realize that there are some commonalities. I would like to address two critical issues in particular: submission and secrets. Today I focus on submission.

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I Was Afraid of That

NEWS FLASH: I held a tarantula!

(The photo is actually of Pete’s hand, from several months ago, but the tarantula is the same individual that I held recently.)

If you have been following my other blog, Mountain Plover, you know that I am generally terrified of spiders. In an effort to overcome this phobia, I have been intentionally learning more about them. Last February I wrote about tarantulas, illustrating my post with photos I took through the glass walls of a terrarium. It was a beginning.

In July, I wrote about how spiders are beneficial to us gardeners. Again, photos accompanied that post. This time, there were no glass barriers between my camera lens and my subjects.

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We Think We’re So Smart

We think we’re so smart. Everyone is an expert on something, and we’re eager to share our expertise. (I’m no exception—witness my two blogs!)

“Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.” —Lord Kelvin, British mathematician and physicist, president of the British Royal Society, 1895.

I’ve been reading Ephesians lately, and this morning one verse popped out at me. Paul wrote, “Be completely humble….” (Eph. 4:2). Yeah, right.

“If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one.” —W.C. Heuper, National Cancer Institute, 1954.

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How to Make Yourself Miserable

I have a friend who’s been pretty miserable lately. This is someone I care a lot about, and I’ve been praying for her daily. As sometimes happens when we pray for someone, I’ve gained some insight into her situation. Perhaps the Spirit told me directly, perhaps I simply recognized a situation that’s all too familiar. Either way, it’s clear to me that she’s running from God.

Mind you, my friend is a Bible-believing Christian. That’s not the issue. Rather, God has asked her for something that she’s unwilling to give Him. Never mind that it would greatly benefit her to do so. Never mind that God will take better care of it than she ever could. Giving up something that is a deep part of ourselves is never easy.

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Are You a Christian?

Are you a Christian?

Sometimes the answer is obvious. Sometimes it’s not.

If you have a vibrant, intimate relationship with God, where you hear His voice and tell Him your innermost thoughts, where you rely on Him to guide you and strengthen you as you live your life completely entwined with His, loving and serving others… then I’d feel pretty confident agreeing that you are a Christian.

If your claim to faith is based on being born to Christian parents, or into a “Christian” nation, but you never read a Bible or pray, you never go to church (on only on Easter), you have no interest in God whatsoever and are pretty satisfied with that state of affairs, well, you might want to read the fine print on your fire insurance policy (start with Matthew 7:23 or Luke 13:27).

Most of us who call ourselves Christian fall somewhere between these two examples. At some point in our lives, we’ve prayed the “sinner’s prayer” acknowledging our failings and subsequent need for mercy and forgiveness. We own a Bible and read it at times. We go to church, unless there’s a big game on. (If we’re super spiritual, we only skip church if our team is in the playoffs.) We can speak fluent “Christianese.” And we pray for God to help us, especially if life isn’t going our way at the moment. God is in our lives, but is He in charge?

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The Spiritual Value of an iPhone

product-hero-iphone4-1Glenn Packiam is one of the pastors at our church, and a very wise man of God. I’ve recommended both his books (Butterfly in Brazil and Secondhand Jesus) in previous posts; this time I want to direct you to his blog.

Everything Glenn writes is gold—but this post I’d rate as platinum—or iridium! He has managed to take something we can all relate to and use it to convey a priceless spiritual truth. And he did it in under 200 words. You gotta read this!

Practicing the Presence of an iPhone

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What do you want to be when you grow up?

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

How many times were we asked that as kids? And how many kids announce that they want to be a “nobody” when they become adults? We want to be astronauts, firefighters and doctors, or perhaps president. In many Christian families, the goal is more spiritual: pastor or missionary. The bottom line is, everyone wants to be significant.

I was raised with the message that “I could be anything I wanted” when I grew up. Of course that’s ridiculous. I’m such a klutz, I fell off my stool in art class in 8th grade (and the social fail of it obviously scarred me for life). Clearly, I wasn’t going to be a professional athlete… or a whole host of other things.

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Oblivious

“Oh! Flowers! How long has that been there?” It had just registered with my absent-minded husband that a pot of blooming daffodils was sitting on our normally empty stair landing. It had been there for several days, but I was still impressed. Usually he doesn’t notice such things at all.

Let’s just say that Pete isn’t the most observant guy around. This used to bother me greatly. I would buy a new outfit (a very rare occurrence, since I really hate to shop). When exaggerated mannerisms didn’t work, I resorted to more desperate ploys. “Sweetie—notice anything different?”

He would invariably answer, “Nice haircut.”

It got to be a joke. Rearrange the living room. “Nice haircut.” Paint the white hallway a lovely shade of peach. “Nice haircut.” Replace the photographs in the frames over our couch. “Nice haircut.”

In fact, the only change I could make that wouldn’t elicit “nice haircut” was to actually cut my hair.

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Is God a Slot Machine?

coke3God is not a vending machine. How many times have we heard that statement? We know that we can’t manipulate God—that while he does promise to reward us when we follow Him, that reward is only guaranteed to arrive once we’re in heaven. A quick read of Hebrews 11 makes this abundantly clear: “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance.” While prosperity preachers may promise riches here on earth if we’ll only send them our money, our true treasure is waiting for us in heaven, safe and secure.

Yes, I know very well that God is not a vending machine. But this morning He woke me up and reminded me that He’s not a slot machine, either.

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