For over a week we have been aware of a huge fire burning west of Ft. Collins, about two hours north of us. Fourteen square miles and almost 200 homes have been destroyed. Anyone living in the area has been evacuated, unable to check on their property or retrieve belongings. I’ve tossed up a few prayers, especially when I read news updates, but it hasn’t exactly dominated my thoughts.
Saturday afternoon I happened to glance out the window and saw a huge plume of smoke rising from behind a ridge here in Colorado Springs. We were witnessing the first few hours of the Waldo Canyon fire. As I write this, thousands of people have been displaced although thankfully no one has been hurt and no structures have burned. Still, the fire has consumed 2,000 acres and is totally out of control. I can think of nothing else.
I was totally overwhelmed. Mind going around and around on an endless track of useless thoughts: Now what? What if? How? I hardly slept. I could barely eat. I couldn’t focus on anything, much less God. No way I could pray.
Yet, I had never needed to pray more.
Have you ever felt this way? You’re in the deepest pit, and God is your only salvation. You know you need to pray. But you just can’t. And that makes you feel even worse. Like you’re a failure.
“God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
We were going through a particularly trying time in our lives, and my friend was trying to be helpful.
The problem? Her advice wasn’t true. God had given me more than I could handle. The situation was overwhelming. I was exhausted, my nerves were frayed, and there was not even a glimmer of light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I was beginning to consider the benefits of a nervous breakdown.