Last week I discussed how a large majority of single Christians are engaging in premarital sex. Yet, I always thought the Bible was quite clear on this topic—God’s against it. How do these unmarried believers handle what appears to be a black and white issue?
It seems there are two possible approaches. Either they still believe that engaging in extra-marital sex is sinful—and end up feeling guilty—or they reinterpret the Bible and claim that there’s no problem.
Growing up in the 60s and 70s, mine is the generation that created the need for the term “generation gap.” We were neat, keen, righteous. They were hopeless. We understood the times, they were mired in the past. I thought I’d always be part of the cool group, the in-crowd. I got older anyway. So I need some help here.
A recent article by Laura Sessions Stepp on CNN’s website reported on a new book by the president of the Barna Group, David Kinnaman. She writes,
Are you in love? In a serious relationship? Considering marriage? Dreams of white dresses and romantic honeymoons are plenty distracting. But don’t let your hormones run your life. It pays to work through some hard issues before making any permanent decisions.
I strongly recommend premarital counseling. It has been proven to increase both your marital happiness and the strength of your commitment to one another. But in addition to meeting with a pastor or taking a class at church, try investing some time working things through on your own.
Plenty of books, workbooks, and articles are available to give you a reality check on your connubial dreams. John Piper has written an outstanding list of questions to consider. I was so impressed, I had to post a link to it.
Working through this list will give you plenty to talk about and consider. Even after thirty years of wedded bliss (well, mostly), Pete and I still discuss many of these issues. Pick one or two and make an evening out of it. Sure beats watching reruns on the talking box.
“Journal of Family Psychology