What says Valentine’s Day better than a box of conversation hearts? I have happy childhood memories of opening my sack lunch and finding a box of candy with sayings such as “BE COOL,” “TRUE LOVE,” and of course, “I ♥ YOU.” My friends and I would share giggles over “MARRY ME” and “FIRST KISS,” and assumed that “PUPPY LOVE” affirmed our affinity for young dogs.
What do you think about when you consider Valentine’s Day? Frilly Valentine cards? Flowers? Dark chocolates in a heart-shaped box? Finding your soulmate and living happily ever after?
Especially if you’re single, you may feel discouraged on this most romantic of holidays. Valentine’s Day is truly a day for two. Two place settings for a romantic dinner. Two people sharing moonlight and roses. Two lovers sailing off into the sunset. Often, those in a relationship, married or not, seem to have found something you’re missing. Looking at two starry-eyed lovers, we can easily imagine that they’ve found their soulmates.
It’s Friday, February 12, and in case you’ve been living on Mars, Valentine’s Day is in two days. Once again (or perhaps for the first time in a while), you don’t have a special someone to share the occasion with. Maybe you don’t even have a date. (A girlfriend of mine describes this situation as being “rotic”—E.g., romantic without the “man.”)
If this describes you, you’re probably miserably sulking in a corner somewhere, just trying to endure until next Monday (imagine looking forward to a Monday!) when the whole deal will be over and romance can be ignored until next February.
Shame on you! You’ve surrendered your pride and your self-esteem to Hallmark. Just because you aren’t currently in some sort of relationship, you aren’t a second-class person. Dump the pity party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Being unattached on Valentine’s Day has some advantages.
All right all you lovers, Valentine’s Day is less than a week away. Feeling the pressure?
What should be a simple holiday encouraging us to love one another has turned into a Big Deal, with sky-high expectations of chocolates, flowers, jewelry, romantic dinners in fancy restaurants, and the perfect partner with whom to share it all.
I’d like a reset, please.
On Friday, I’ll address the angst of facing a couples holiday in a state of singleness. Today is for those currently in a relationship.
With all the Valentine’s Day hype, I have to ask—how realistic are our expectations? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and consider what it is we really want. Are chocolates and flowers our goal? Maybe, what we really desire is to be desired. To have our special someone say once again, “I love you.”