Relationships

by

Congratulations, Graduate!

We’re attending a graduation today. Perhaps you are too—there are plenty of students graduating this month and next.

At all those thousands of graduations, thousands of graduation speakers will be thanking their parents, faculty and school administrators for their help and encouragement. They’ll comment on how hard everyone worked to get to this point, and they’ll offer advice for the future. Perhaps they’ll tell their classmates that learning doesn’t stop, just because their formal education is over. Or they’ll encourage them to press onward for a higher degree (a popular choice in the current dismal job market).

Andrew, whose graduation our family is celebrating, didn’t take an easy route to get to this point. There were major detours, times when achieving even this first college degree seemed like an impossibility. Yet his outstanding success at this point illustrates the fact that it’s never to late to change directions.

Continue reading →

by

Having a “Ro’tic” Valentine’s Day

It’s Friday, February 12, and in case you’ve been living on Mars, Valentine’s Day is in two days. Once again (or perhaps for the first time in a while), you don’t have a special someone to share the occasion with. Maybe you don’t even have a date. (A girlfriend of mine describes this situation as being “rotic”—E.g., romantic without the “man.”)

If this describes you,  you’re probably miserably sulking in a corner somewhere, just trying to endure until next Monday (imagine looking forward to a Monday!) when the whole deal will be over and romance can be ignored until next February.

Shame on you! You’ve surrendered your pride and your self-esteem to Hallmark. Just because you aren’t currently in some sort of relationship, you aren’t a second-class person. Dump the pity party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Being unattached on Valentine’s Day has some advantages.

Continue reading →

by

The Best Valentine’s Day Ever

All right all you lovers, Valentine’s Day is less than a week away. Feeling the pressure?

What should be a simple holiday encouraging us to love one another has turned into a Big Deal, with sky-high expectations of chocolates, flowers, jewelry, romantic dinners in fancy restaurants, and the perfect partner with whom to share it all.

I’d like a reset, please.

On Friday, I’ll address the angst of facing a couples holiday in a state of singleness. Today is for those currently in a relationship.

With all the Valentine’s Day hype, I have to ask—how realistic are our expectations? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and consider what it is we really want. Are chocolates and flowers our goal? Maybe, what we really desire is to be desired. To have our special someone say once again, “I love you.”

Continue reading →

by

Am I Giving God the Silent Treatment?

December is a hectic month. Our normal routine is disrupted by the special events of the season, and the accompanying overload. Most of the year, I easily include some focused time with God in my day. Yet, at Christmas time, when it would seem to matter the most, I get distracted. By the time January arrives, I’m almost afraid to go to Him. I assume He’s angry with me, and He has every right. He’s been shoved aside while I shop, bake, and decorate, all supposedly in His honor. I’ve procrastinated, invented excuses, and declared my independence.

We find ourselves giving God the “silent treatment” for many reasons, but they boil down to three main categories. Either we think He failed us, or we have failed Him… or we’re just too apathetic to care. Perhaps God isn’t top priority right now. Oh, we call Him our Lord, and overall desire to follow Him, but our schedule is so busy, He’ll just have to wait until we have a spare moment.

Then comes the wake-up call. God doesn’t like getting the silent treatment any more than we do. The actual call takes many forms, but inevitably, something happens that forces me back into His presence. This year, it was being shunned by a good friend.

Continue reading →

by

What Are You Doing for New Year’s?

This is my last post of 2009, so I wanted to say something significant, something to sum up the year and point with optimism to the days ahead. Instead, my thoughts turned to New Year traditions. A lot of them are pretty silly, when you think about it.

Take “Auld Lang Syne,” for instance.

Why do we sing this? Apparently, back in 1929, Guy Lombardo’s band played the song at the Roosevelt Hotel in New York City after hearing some Scottish immigrants singing it. The Waldorf Astoria continued the tradition,  playing Lombardo’s version of the song every year until 1976. Radio (and then television) allowed the rest of the country to sing along at home.

Do you know the words? I didn’t. A web search turned up the lyrics (reprinted at the end of this post), but then I had more questions. What in the world is a pint-stowp? How does one “pou’d the gowans fine”? Happily Wikipedia had all the answers.

Continue reading →

by

Tradition!

I still cringe when I remember the year my parents decided to mess with family tradition. We’d always had a real Christmas tree, illuminated with those large, old-fashioned lights (now considered the height of retro-fashion!) and hung with lead-filled crinkled “icicles” (long banned by the EPA). But the year I turned ten, my mother decided it was time to update our decorations.

She and my dad went to our local Christmas tree lot, picked out a tall misshapen tree, and had it flocked. Spray-on flocking was quite the rage in the mid-60’s. (At least they stuck with white “snow” rather than opting for the very trendy blue, lavender or pink.) Hauled home in our pick-up, the tree went into our high-ceilinged living room. There it was spotlighted with a floodlight. Finally, gold balls were nestled in the fluffy white branches—tiny ornaments at the very top, giant shiny spheres on the sturdy branches at the base. I’m sure the tree was beautiful, with its avant-garde shape and mono-thematic decorations. I, for one, hated it.

Continue reading →

by

Happy Birth-Christ-day-mas

Today is December 15. Today is my birthday.

December can be a hard month to have a birthday. It seems the whole world is focused on Christmas, and your personal special day gets lost in the lights and tinsel.  Instead of having a birthday party, it’s more likely you find yourself at someone else’s holiday gathering. With all that delicious holiday baking enticing you, you feel guilty eating your birthday cake—if you get one at all. And balloons just don’t look right next to a Christmas tree.

So what’s a December baby to do? Adjust that old attitude!

The whole world is focused on Christmas? That’s great! The crucial point here is realizing that it’s not all about me. It’s about Jesus. My attention needs to be on Him, not myself. Perhaps having a birthday near Christmas will help me learn that lesson sooner than if I’d been born in July.

Continue reading →

by

Why play Facebook games, like Mafia Wars, YoVille, etc.?

Today’s guest post is from Pete, my sweetie for more than 30 years. He originally (about three weeks ago) posted it as a note on Facebook. I think his observations are worth keeping in mind, especially as I hope to soon share some game reviews written by our son-in-law, who knows much more about such things than I do.

Here’s Pete:

I’ve just finished an experiment in a couple of the very popular online multi-user games. I wanted to learn how they work, how fun they are, and what was the opportunity for play that involves interaction with friends old and new.

Let me say up front: I don’t think these games are evil in some way. I have relatives who play other massive online multi-player games with really great interaction, to the point where one guy’s online game-playing team gets together in person at least once a year, traveling from far and wide to spend time together. I think that’s awesome!

How about the games here on Facebook (FB)? Here’s what I found:

Continue reading →

by

Confessions of an Introverted Hostess

Having just celebrated Thanksgiving, I was explaining to a friend that having a houseful of guests for the entire week had strained my introverted personality. She looked at me and asked, “So, why did you do it?”

Good question! Why did I spend hours scrubbing floors, making beds, planning menus, hauling groceries, cooking—and now washing load after load of sheets and towels—in order to create a situation I knew I’d find stressful?

Very simple. As I went down the list of the nine guests we hosted for Thanksgiving, I realized that each and every person was special to me. They were friends and family. I love them. Yes, it would be nice to see them at a more leisurely pace, perhaps two or three at a time, but if the only way I could spend time with any of them was en masse, I’d take it.

Continue reading →

by

Christmas Presents

In our culture, Christmas has turned into the biggest shopping spree and gift fest of the year. When most people think about Christmas, they think about presents. While gift-giving isn’t mandatory, it is an expectation in most families. Given that fact, how can exchanging gifts honor God?

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than receive.” When I was a child, I would have disagreed, but now that I’m the primary gift-chooser in our family, I find that I get really excited about finding the perfect present for someone I love. I get even more excited watching them open the wrapping. We honor God in our giving when we give with a cheerful heart.

Continue reading →